7 Feb 2010

Kindness: a simple concept and a huge challenge

1 comments
I'm not the only one to think that being kind is nice!

Everybody I know likes when someone stops to let you in first on traffic or holds you the lift door! We are surprised and love when people are kind; and constantly complain about the lack of education, sense, citizenship, etc.

Anyway, in theory the concept is simple and beautiful.

In practice, I've also pretended to be asleep in the tube not to loose my place (after all what doesn't hurt... isn't my responsibility, right?). When is much more common and easy to push who is in front of you than step aside and wait for the next train; being kind becomes a constant challenge.



The concept-challenge: Kindness is a voluntary and altruistic choice
This means that give the place in the line for someone over 60 is not kindness, it's citizenship. Stop the car on a unsigned crossing line isn't kindness, it's obligation  (by law in most Countries). To hold that handsome man's bag isn't kindness, is mild flirtation. And so on! It doesn't lower you kindness score but it also doesn't add points to it!

The idea here is to be kind just because; because you can, because it makes you moment nicer and happier, and maybe someone else's too.

Acting in 03 levels
- Me. Being kind to us is the first step! Therefore I intend to ignore, for example, what those neurotic inner voices telling me about this blog and how silly it and I are!
- The others. It's valid to be kind to your mom, dad, siblings, friends, neighbors, dog, cat, and parrot. What isn't allowed is to smile to the stranger at the café and kick who are closer to "balance".
- The World. To be kind breaks paradigms. Think, as women, to open the doors to the boys just out of kindness says more about equality than 1.000.000 burned bras! Same way, to reduce your waste is to be kind with the planet!

Kindness demands common sense
Kindly, do not exaggerate! Deep down, it isn't necessary to be a super hero to be kind! o need to run to open the door first! No need to always say yes and promise things you'll regret, just to be kind with a friend! And, definitely, don't by a 5.000 pounds purse just to be nice with yourself!

In fact, to be nice is simple! All that is needed is will and attention.

1 comments:

Jpmikkelsen says:
11 February 2010 at 16:29

I think of the line "a genleman, will never say he is a gentleman". That is basicly what I try to live after. Another was when I was in the army and being tought the rules of war. Which seems to be an oxymoron. But as a sergent said, if we dont have rules that we live up to, how can we expect the enemy to have them. So if you or I are not kind, nice or thoughtful why should anybody else be...
When we focus more on the people around us our families, friends, colleagues or just people in general, instead of the people on tv, god (or gods), trends or politics. When we realise that the other person has dreams, hopes, fears, thoughts, kindness comes all on its own. When we start asking forgiveness from those we hurt or ask or give help to the people we meet, instead of some guy in the sky. This is when we connect with realistion that we are from one race of people. When we realise that the only legacy that we leave or that we are judged by once we pass, is held by the people we leave behind, the choice of kindness no longer is choice but a simple way of life.

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